Student Workbook Grade 9 © 2016, International Bank for Reconstruction and Development / The World Bank The World Bank, Peru Country Office. Lima, Peru Av. Alvarez Calderon 185, San Isidro - Lima 27 - Peru Telephone: +51 1 622 2300; Internet: www.worldbank.org This work is a product of the staff of The World Bank with external contributions. The findings, interpretations, and conclusions expressed in this work do not necessarily reflect the views of The World Bank, its Board of Executive Directors, or the governments they represent. Rights and Permissions This work is subject to copyright. Because the World Bank encourages dissemination of its knowledge, this work may be reproduced, in whole or in part, for noncommercial purposes as long as full attribution to the work is given. Translations - A Spanish version of this work is available from The World Bank. 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Production: Inés Kudó Coordination: Joan Hartley Assistance: Luciana Velarde Authors: José Fernando Mejía, Gloria Inés Rodríguez, Nancy Guerra, Andrea Bustamante, María Paula Chaparro, Melisa Castellanos. Collaborators: Marissa Trigoso, Elena Soriano, Alejandro Adler, Ana María Rosales, Ariel Williamson. Ministry of Education: César Bazán, Estefany Benavente, Deyssy Lozano, Patricia Magallanes, Lilia Calmet Illustrations: David Cárdenas, Silvia Tomasich, Ericca Alegría. Graphic Design: Evolution Design eirl., Alejandro Cubas. Storybooks and songs: Los Hermanos Paz S.A.C. Posters: Hermanos Magia S.A.C. English Translation and Editing: Melanie Gallagher, Flavia Gallagher, Cesar Bazán. Follow us on: /BancoMundialPeru @BancoMundialLAC KEY PARTNERS: Module 1 With Myself THE JOHARI WINDOW Lesson General Skill Self-Awareness 1 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Self-Concept Understand how other people influence my choices. The Johari Window is a useful tool for analyzing ourselves. It was created by the psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham (the first letters of their names make up the word “Johari”). According to these two psychologists, each one of us has four areas: Open Area: This is what both I and others know about me, i.e., this is the part of ourselves that others can also see. For example, both others and myself may agree that I’m quiet, or talkative, studious, not very studious, etc. Blind Area: That which others perceive about us but we don’t. These are some of the characteristics that others can see in us but we don’t know that we have. For example, others may think that we are fun, while we think that we’re boring. Others may see that we are organized, while we may not recognize that characteristic as something that describes us. Hidden Area: What we know about ourselves, but others don’t know. For example, we may be very sensitive, while appearing to others as if we were quite strong; or sometimes we may lie, while others believe we are honest. Unknown Area: This is what neither we nor others know about us. We may sometimes have reactions that neither others nor we understand, or we may do something that we do not know where it came from. Page 3 Module 1 With Myself | Self-Concept Lesson 1 My Johari Window To make your own Johari Window, think about the following questions and then answer them: What are your personal characteristics? You can use the list at the bottom of this worksheet as a guide. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What are the characteristics that your family and your friends think you have? You can ask two friends nearby, as well as considering the characteristics that your parents and siblings always say you have. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Now, figure out which of the characteristics were mentioned by you and others and write them in the open area. In the hidden area, write the characteristics that only you know you have. In the blind area, write the characteristics that others think you have and you didn’t know about or don’t recognize in yourself. Leave the unknown area blank ciega. Deja el área desconocida en blanco. What I KNOW What I DON’T KNOW about myself about myself OPEN AREA BLIND AREA What OTHERS KNOW about me HIDDEN AREA UNKNOWN AREA What OTHERS DON’T KNOW about me I am: Cooperative - Reliable - Active - Polite - Firm - Insecure - Friendly - Creative - Practical - Mentally flexible - Careful - Aggressive - Critical - Skilled - Friendly - Careful - Honest - Impulsive Punctual - Well-behaved - Imaginative - Fast - Dependable - Independent - Reasonable - Analytical Determined – High spirited - Fair - Hardworking - Thoughtful - Attentive - A leader - Respectful Discrete - Logical - Responsible - Capable - Secure - Efficient - Peaceful - Helpful - Have good memory - Sincere - Communicative - Enterprising - Conciliatory - Prudent - Concrete - Motivating Unproblematic - Enthusiastic - Constant - Stable - Optimistic - Tolerant - Constructive Organized - Treat people well - Orderly - Sensible - Demanding - Patient - Sociable - Shy Page 4 Module 1 With Myself MY MIND GROWS Lesson General Skill Self-Awareness 2 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Self-Efficacy Face academic challenges knowing that I will become smarter by overcoming them. Two mindsets1 1. Graphic designed by Holmes, N. (n.d.). Two mindsets: Carol Dweck. Page 5 Module 1 With Myself | Self-Efficacy Lesson 2 How Can I Use My Growth Mindset in My Academic Performance? _________________________________ When learning different subjects, _________________________________ do you think that you can develop any ability you set your mind to, or _________________________________ have you felt like certain subjects are _________________________________ beyond your personal abilities? Why? _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ What are some of the obstacles you _________________________________ need to overcome in order to achieve a better academic performance? _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ Name two specific things you can do to overcome each one of the obstacles _________________________________ that you have identified. _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ Do you think you have made enough _________________________________ effort up to this point in your life? Why or why not? _________________________________ _________________________________ What do you need to do in order to make more of an effort? _________________________________ Page 6 Module 1 With Myself | Self-Efficacy Lesson 2 _________________________________ Have you used constructive criticism _________________________________ as a way to improve your abilities in each area or subject? Which abilities _________________________________ do you think you need to improve? _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________ What can you learn from your _________________________________ classmates or friends who get good grades and do well in school? _________________________________ _________________________________ Page 7 Page 8 Módule 1 With Myself THINK, FEEL, ACT Lesson General Skill Self-Awareness 3 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Emotional Awareness Pay attention to how my mind and body react to an emotion. Emotions and Physical Reactions Below are two lists: one of emotions, and another of physical reactions. Use colored pencils to draw lines to the physical reactions that you experience when you feel each one of these emotions. You may connect a physical reaction to more than one emotion, or the same emotion to more than one physical reaction. There are no right or wrong answers. Simply connect the emotions to your physical reactions. Emotions Reactions Anger Goosebumps Gasping for air Face becomes red Trembling Fear Sweaty hands or other parts of body Pulse quickens Strong heartbeat Shame Shivers Headache Stomachache Lack of energy, inactivity Enthusiasm Knots in stomach or throat Tickly feeling in stomach Hot face or head Crying Sadness Smiles Tension, agitation Page 9 Module 1 With Myself | Emotional Awareness Lesson 3 Thoughts – Emotions – Actions The first column of the table below presents different thoughts. In the second column, you will describe the emotion(s) that each one of these thoughts causes in you. In the third column, write down the actions that you think might result from these thoughts and emotions. We have provided an example to help you. Thoughts Emotions Actions What emotion(s) does What actions might result Imagine that you’re thinking the this thought cause you from these types of following: to feel? thoughts or emotions? “I feel like everyone is ignoring Withdrawal, isolation, Sadness me, as if they couldn’t see me…” living in a bubble “I’m sure I’ll get it wrong, I’ll make a mistake…” “I say what I think and feel (without hurting others), because it makes me feel good to really be myself.” “Everyone is going to criticize me, they’ll laugh at me, I’ll look ridiculous.” “We’re a team. If we make mistakes, we’ll help each other out. Together, we can do it.” “I don’t care what anyone else does. I do my thing and that’s that. They won’t be there to help out if things go wrong, anyway.” “I’ll do what I promised I would do, because I like to do it, I think it’s important… I’ll give my absolute best.” Page 10 Module 1 With Myself MY INNER VOICE Lesson General Skill Self-Regulation 4 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Emotional Regulation Manage my emotions using my inner voice. My Greatest Ally: My Inner Voice Imagine that you’re in the situations described below. On the left, you’ll find thoughts or phrases that can make your emotions more intense, so that you’re unable to control them. For each situation, change the thought or phrase described to a thought or phrase that can help you control the emotion you may be feeling in each situation. Use the following example as a guide: Alex is really afraid of flunking a test. He tells himself, “I’m going to flunk the test. The test is going to be too hard. I’m not going to be able to do it!” In this case, Alex could change his thoughts and tell himself something that helps him to soothe his fear, like, “Hey, don’t worry. You just have to get organized and study. You’ve worked hard. You can do it.” Situation No. 1 You got into an argument with your How could you change your thought for brother and you’re so angry you want one that helps you control your anger? to hit him. You think: Mi hermano es un idiota. ¡Quiero pegarle! Me las va a pagar por lo que hizo. Page 11 Module 1 With Myself | Emotional Regulation Lesson 4 Situation No. 2 You’re sad because you didn’t get invited How could you change your thought for to a party. one that helps you feel less sad? You think: Le caigo mal a mis compañeros. No soy lo suficiente para ellos. Soy lo peor. No valgo nada. Situation No. 3 You’re anxious because you have to How could you change your thought for go someplace where you don’t know one that helps you control your anxiety? anyone. You think: No conozco a nadie. Nadie me va a hablar. Voy a estar solo todo el tiempo. ¡Qué voy a hacer! Page 12 Module 1 With Myself | Emotional Regulation Lesson 4 Situation No. 4 You have to go to school, but you just How could you change your thought for don’t feel like it. one that helps you feel more motivated? You think: I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay home. School is so boring, I’m sleepy… Page 13 Module 1 With Myself | Emotional Regulation Lesson 4 Page 14 Module 1 With Myself THE 4 KEYS TO DG Lesson General Skill Self-Regulation 5 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Delayed Gratification Give up immediate rewards for the chance of achieving bigger goals down the road. The Marshmallow Experiment Many years ago, a well-known psychologist named Walter Mischel conducted a study known as “The Marshmallow Experiment.” This experiment tested children’s ability to delay gratification. In the experiment, he gave four-year-old children two options to choose from: earning a marshmallow right then for doing something, or waiting 15 to 20 minutes and earning two marshmallows for doing the same thing. Some children took one marshmallow immediately, and others waited so they could get two marshmallows. As you can see from the photos, this was a very hard task for some of the children! Dr. Mischel also wondered if this test would predict a successful future for the children. Fourteen years later, he found that the children who waited so they could earn two marshmallows were more positive, enterprising, focused on achieving their goals, and got better grades on tests. The children who didn’t wait were more prone to having problems in school. What are your own marshmallows now? Write down those things that are hard for you to resist but get in the way of achievieng your goals or fulfilling your commitments. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ * Images from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/9480475/Children-attempt- marshmallow-temptation-test.html Page 15 Module 1 With Myself | Delayed Gratification Lesson 5 DG and the 4 keys to DG Dana Gray, known as DG by his friends, loves playing volleyball and is the captain of her high school team. DG is a very good student, she puts a lot of effort to get good grades because she wants to go to a good college and her parents don’t have enough money, so this means wining a scholarship. She also loves spending time with her friends, going out for ice cream or a burger (she specially loves french fries). Her best friends are always hanging out after school and want her to join. Sometimes DG ditches her volley practice to hang out with them, because when she doesn’t, she feels like an outsider. DG has found there are four keys to Delay Gratification (DG).2 The 4 keys to DG 1. When you know Understand what is important to you, you are able to make choices what matters that lead you to happiness and success. most 2. Ensure you have clearly defined goals. Know Having a clear understanding of what you want to achieve longer-term what you want can help you make a choice in delaying gratification to achieve to help you reach your ultimate goal. 3. When you understand what matters to you and know what you want to achieve, Create creating a plan to help you get there a plan can remind you of the choices you need to make along the way and reinforce the process of delaying gratification. Delaying gratification can be hard-work. 4. Depending on what you want to achieve, it may take weeks, months, and sometimes years. Reward Breaking down your goals and rewarding yourself along the way Yourself can remind yourself that delaying gratification is leading you to where you want to go. 2. Based on “Strategies for Delayed Gratification”, from http://www.startofhappiness.com/power-delayed-gratification Page 16 most Module 1 With Myself | Delayed Gratification 2. Ensure you have clearly defin Know Lesson Having a clear understa 5 of what you want to achieve l Te Th ky he44ke es ystotoDD GG what you want can help you make a c The 4 keys to D in delaying gratificati Gachieve to to help you reach your ultim And here are DG’s 4 keys: 1. 1. When Whenyou know you know When you understand what ma 3. Understand Understand For DG, it is volley 1. what what practice, doing is important is important school you, to to you, work, and hanging and out with know what you want to friends, but there is no time to you are you areable to to able makeWhen make Create do it you choices all.know She realizes that going to choices at creating a plan to help you g what what Understand matters matters college is what matters give her that chance. that that She most, leadwhat you lead also and is you exceling important to to honesty and would not be values a plan to volley you, and grades may can remind you of the ch able happiness you are and able success. to make choices of these by cheating. So you must to make along the she need what matters most most to sleep at night if she achieved happiness and any success. that lead you to prioritize training and studying hard, and hang out with reinforce the process of delaying friends much happiness and success. most less. She also has to cut back on junk food and sugar because these have a negative effect on her performance as an athlete. 2. 2. Ensure Ensureyou have you haveclearly defined clearly definedgoals. goals. Delaying gratification can be ha Know Know 2. Having Having a clear a Ensure understanding clear understanding you have 4. defined goals. clearly Depending on what you want to what of of whatyouyouwant want achieve to to achieve longer-term longer-term DG’s plan is going to what whatyou youwantKnow want can help can you help Having youmake make aaclear choice Reward a understanding choice it may take weeks, months, and som take at least two years, ina you want to achieveiflonger-term of what gratification delaying not more. She Breaking down your goals can’t stop toto what you want achieve achieve DG wants to be and opento to help her in you own delaying veterinarian reach can your practice, gratification help you make Yourself ultimate a goal. choice rewarding hanging out with friends for yourself along th help you reach your ultimate goal. to achievespecializing in farm animals. in delaying gratification Her that long.canSoremind yourself that delaying she decided to help you goal is to earn a scholarship that every goal.time to reach your ultimate she aced is leading youanto where you w a good college by the time she important test or her team finishes high school in two years. won a championship match, 3. 3. When When you understand you understand what what matters mattersto to you she would take a break and you and know what you want to to achieve, spend a couple hours with and know what you want achieve, Create Create 3. creating creating When a plan aand plan you to to know understand help helpyou whatyouget there get what there matters her friends. state you want to achieve, to youThen after the championship is over, plan aa plan Create can remind can remind you of of you creating the the a plan choices choices to help in four you get there months, she would you need to make you need to make along along the way the wayandand spend the weekend with a plan DG’s plan is to be an outstanding can reinforce get accepted into reinforce the a good the process process college of remind student so she delaying of delaying you of the can choices gratification. gratification. her friends doing fun you and need also to qualify make for the way and along stuff. And so on and merit-based scholarships. For the needs that, she reinforce process excel to of delaying gratification. so forth. in her classes, and take some advanced courses. But because academic scholarships are very hard to get, she would also like Delaying to qualify gratification for be can anhard-work. athletic scholarship for Delaying volleyball. gratification For that, she can needs beto hard-work. lead 4. 4. Depending Depending on what on what you youwant want to achieve, to achieve, her team to victory state to the Delaying championship gratification this can be hard-work. it may take weeks, months, and sometimes years. Reward may take 4. itnational year, and the weeks, championship months, Depending nexton and year. what sometimes you wantyears. to achieve, Reward Breaking Breaking it may down takedown your goals your weeks, and goals months,and and sometimes years. rewarding yourself along the way Yourself YourselfReward can remind rewarding yourself yourself Breaking that along down delaying the way your goals and gratification can remind yourself that rewarding delaying yourselfgratification along the way Yourself is leading is leading you youto where to whereyou want you wantto go. to go. can remind yourself that delaying gratification is leading you to where you want to go. Page 17 Module 1 With Myself | Delayed Gratification Lesson 5 Th e4 he 4kkeeyyss ttooDDGG T The 4 keys to DG and you Th e 4 k e y s t o D G Think of one of your “Marshmallows” in the previous exercise, choose the hardest or the most meaningful one for you and see how you’d apply the 4 Keys to DG (Delayed Gratification). Now answer the following guiding questions. 1. Understand what matters most. 1. 1. When you know When know youknow 1. When What values do you think are you competing in your case? Which one matters more to Understand Understand you? what whatis what When is you know important isimportant to toyou, importantto you, you, Understand what you you are is important able able areable to make tomake make you, tochoices choices what matters what matters you are to _____________________________________________________________________ you are able that that to make lead lead you to youto choices tochoices what matters that happiness lead that lead you andyou to success. _____________________________________________________________________ most most happiness happiness and and success. success. happiness and success. most _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 2. 2. 2. Know what youEnsure Ensure you you wantyou have clearly haveclearly to achieve. defined clearlydefined goals. definedgoals. goals. 2. Ensure have KnowIn the situation you Know Ensure you have Having Having chose, Having a a clear clear aclear what clearly understanding understanding would defined goals. it be your goal? Think of something clear and understanding Knowconcrete. of of what what ofwhat Having you you a clear want youwant want to toachieve to understanding achieve longer-term longer-term achievelonger-term what what you want of what you want to achieve longer-term what you want can help helpyou canhelp you make makea youmake a choice choice achoice you want can _____________________________________________________________________ canin help you delaying make a choice gratification achieve to achieve to to help indelaying in in delayinggratification delaying you reach gratification gratification your ultimate goal. _____________________________________________________________________ to achieve to help you reach to help you reach your ultimategoal. yourultimate goal. to help you reach your ultimate goal. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 3. When you When you understand understand what what matters matters toto you you 3. 3. When you understand what matters to you Create a plan. 3. When you understand what matters to you and know knowwhat andknow what whatyouyou want youwant wantto to achieve, achieve, toachieve, and Create Create What steps do youand think know creating creating a a you can what plan to follow you planWhat want help tohelp help you you to to achieve achieve, get get there there your goal? What “temptations” Create plan a plan creating would you face along creating can thea plan way? to to help a plan you remind canremind remind you of you can oftheyou the the youget dothere get there choices choices to keep on track and not cave in? a a plan you can can need youneed needremind to you make tomake makeyou of of the along along choices choices the way and _____________________________________________________________________ the and wayand you to along the way you reinforceneed the reinforcethe to make process theprocess processof along of ofdelayingthe delaying way and gratification. gratification. delayinggratification. _____________________________________________________________________ reinforce reinforce the process of delaying gratification. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Delaying gratification gratificationcan Delayinggratification can canbe be hard-work. hard-work. behard-work. Delaying 4. 4. Reward Delaying Yourself. Depending Dependingon gratification on what onwhat whatyouyoucanwant youwant be hard-work. wanttoto achieve, achieve, toachieve, 4. Depending 4. How long it may do Depending youtake weeks, think it on what months, will takeyou to want and sometimes achieveto achieve, what years. you want? At what point in your maytake ititmay weeks,months, takeweeks, months,and sometimes andsometimes years. Reward Reward plan youit may you think take weeks, could Breaking use Breakingdownmonths, a down break downyour yourand or sometimes celebrate goals goalsand yourgoals and and a years. years. partial achievement? Reward Yourself Breaking Breaking down rewarding rewarding rewarding yourself yourself yourself your goals along along along the the the and way way _____________________________________________________________________ way Yourself Yourself can canremind can rewarding remind yourself yourself yourselfthat remindyourself that along delaying thatdelaying the way gratification gratification delayinggratification _____________________________________________________________________ canisremind leading yourself you to that wheredelaying you wantgratification to go. isleading is leadingyou youto whereyou towhere youwant wantto go. togo. is leading you to where you want to go. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Page 18 Module 1 With Myself NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL CHAIN Lesson General Skill Self-Regulation 6 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Frustration Tolerance Stop the negative emotional chain triggered by frustration. Screenplay writing Protagonist (you, give yourself a cool alias): _____________________________________________ Scene 1: Something frustrating happens to you. You try to fix it but fail. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Scene 2: Anger overcomes you. Describe a close up on your face, your body. What do you say? What do you do? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Scene 3: Despair sets in. Nothing you did worked. You made things worse. You feel sad. Describe a close up on your face, your body. What do you say? What do you do? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Page 19 Module 1 With Myself | Frustration Tolerance Lesson 6 PAUSE HERE Four clues to stop a negative emotional chain: Clue #1: Stop Clue #2: Relax The first time around, you tried something, didn’t Do something fun and relaxing until you calm work, made you angry, kept trying, got angrier. This down. Go for a walk, eat a snack, browse fun- is the first domino piece! When anger starts to get to ny videos, listen to some music, exercise. you, stop what you are doing, distance yourself. Clue #3: Focus Clue #4: Adapt Sometimes the barriers may be just too great Focus your efforts in finding a solution that will relieve to surmount at that time. You have two options the frustration. This process starts with understanding here. One, you can change your goals to ones the problem. Think about what’s really bothering you that can be achieved in the short term. Or two, and what’s causing it. Ask for help if you can’t figure when you are just not making any progress it out on your own. Here’s a helpful hint: sometimes and continue trying without success, it may be it’s useful to break down the bigger problem into wise to deliberately “give up” and choose to smaller, more manageable problems. fight another day. RESUME Scene 4: Do over! Cinematic trick, this was a bad dream. Nothing has happened yet! This is your chance to get it right. These are the clues to break the negative emotional chain: _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Scene 5: Frustration under control. You must have two alternative endings. Final scene A: You overcome the obstacle that caused your frustration. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Final scene B: You couldn’t overcome the obstacle so you adapt and move on. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Page 20 Module 2 With Others THE COSTLY CUP OF WATER Lesson General Skill Social Awareness Today I will learn to: 7 Consider the expectations, information and feelings of others Specific Skill Perspective Taking before judging a situation. The Very Costly Cup of Water Hannah goes to a café in York, UK. She had little money, so she only ordered hot water and a slice of lemon. She thought the place was dreadful and will never go back. She was so upset, she went online to TripAdvisor, a popular online site to rate venues in the travel industry (restaurants, hotels, touristic sites, etc.) and gave the café a bad review. Read the review here >> Put yourself in Hanna’s place. Now, based on Hanna’s account of the facts, fill in the table below, answering the following questions as if you were Hanna: • What were your expectations? • What information did you used to judge the situation? • What information were you missing? • How did you feel about the situation and how do you thing the others felt? Hanna The owner Expectations (what you wanted) Information (what you know) Disinformation (what you don’t know) Feelings (what you felt and what other people felt) Page 21 Module 2 With Others | Perspective Taking Lesson 7 But then, the owner took the time to respond to this comment and explain his perspective. Take a look: “I’m sorry that you feel that you were ‘ripped off’ and I’ll try to explain why you weren’t. You entered the cafe and the waiter showed you to your seat, gave you a menu, waited for a time and then took your order. He entered it into the till, collected a cup, saucer and spoon and took them into the kitchen. There, he selected a knife, chopping board, got a lemon from the fridge, cut off a slice and put it in the cup. There, he selected a knife, chopping board, got a lemon from the fridge, cut off a slice and put it in the cup. Then, he returned to the dining room, drew off the necessary hot water and carried the cup to your table. When you were leaving, he printed off your bill, took it to you, processed your credit card payment and cashed off the till. After you left, he cleared away your cup, saucer and spoon, took them into the kitchen, washed and dried them, along with the chopping board and knife and put away the lemon. Then, returning to the dining room he restacked the cup, saucer and spoon, wiped down your table and replaced the menu, awaiting the next customer. That’s at least 2-3 minutes work for the waiter. The cost of overheads for the business, i.e rent, business rates, electricity costs, bank charges, etc works out at £27.50 per hour of trading. I pay my colleagues a decent living wage and after taking into account holiday pay, national insurance and non-productive time prior to opening and after closing, the waiter who served you costs me £12.50 per hour. Therefore, together the cost is £40 per hour or 67p per minute, meaning that the cost of providing you with 2-3 minutes of services was £1.34-£2.00. Then the government add on VAT at 20% which takes the cost of that cup of fruit infusion to between £1.60 and £2.40 irrespective of whether you had a teabag costing one and a half pence or a slice of lemon costing five pence. I have to pay my suppliers otherwise the facilities won’t be available to other people who use them in the future. I accept that it makes the price of a cuppa in a city centre cafe look expensive compared to the one you make at home but unfortunately that’s the cruel reality of life. Perhaps, the rudeness that you perceived in me was triggered by the disrespect that I perceived in you by your presumption that you could use our facilities and be waited on for free.” Now look at the reactions online: Page 22 Module 2 With Others | Perspective Taking Lesson 7 TripAdvisor took out the comment and response from its site. Page 23 Page 24 Module 2 With Others I FEEL YOU Lesson General Skill Social Awareness 8 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Empathy Feel what other people feel when they are having a hard time. The Mistake Read the story and fill in the blanks with your own ideas: How Did It All Start? Mercedes is a shy girl. She likes to study, although sometimes she gets distracted doing other things like watching TV or talking to her two best friends. One day at school, when the teacher asked her a question, she answered something absurd… She got it wrong… She made a mistake. Her classmates made fun of her badly… They even started to give her offensive nicknames. Mercedes felt: _____________________________________________________ The next day, she figured everyone would have forgotten about it, but that wasn’t the case… Her classmates kept harassing her, and it just got worse and worse… They locked her in the school bathroom… She had missed two classes by the time someone opened the door and let her out. Mercedes told her friends what had happened… They felt: ___________________ _________________________________________________________________ The situation got so bad that Mercedes would hide from everyone so her classmates wouldn’t bother her… She didn’t want to go to school anymore… She even wished she was dead. After reading about what happened to Mercedes, I feel: ______________________ _________________________________________________________________ What Happened Then? Her friends encouraged her to tell her parents about what was going on… So Mercedes decided __________________________________________________ Her parents were heartbroken about the situation. They went to the school to find out what was going on. The teacher talked with the other secondary school teachers about the situation and they all decided to talk separately with Mercedes, her friends, and the kids who were intimidating and hurting her. Those who hurt Mercedes offered a public apology and they talked about times when they had been wrong or made a mistake. They promised never to do that again and they had to work on a project for elementary school kids about how making mistakes is an important part of life and we can learn from them. Mercedes felt ______________________________________________________ Page 25 Page 26 Module 2 With Others HELPING, NOT HELPING Lesson General Skill Social Awareness 9 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Prosocial Behavior Offer help that is genuine, humble, respectful of the other person. Helped, Didn’t Help In the table below, read the deed done by a teen like you and imagine, for each deed, in which situation it might backfire (it didn’t help or did more harm than good). Deed What if… • He wanted to spend time with his dog Looked after a friends’ • He didn’t realize I had the dog and worried sick that it dog and took him for a ran away walk • He got in trouble with his parents for not taking care of the dog Helped my brother with homework so he doesn’t get a bad grade Convinced my best friend to break up with her bad boyfriend Helped an old man up the stairs Ran after a lady’s dog that escaped her car Chatted on phone to a friend for 2 hours after breakup Helped a handicapped classmate get into the classroom he needed Bought ice cream for a friend Page 27 Module 2 With Others | Prosocial Behavior Lesson 9 In My Case Think of a situation in which you tried to help somebody but looking back you are not sure you actually helped. Ask yourself these questions about that situation as if you were to do it all over again: In this situation: __________________________________________ Did I truly listen FIRST? Does my offer to help come out of an assumption that I know better than the person I’m helping? Will my help in any way diminish the other person’s dignity, power, or self-worth? Is this the kind of help the other person wants or is it the kind of help I think that person needs? Do we have a reciprocal rela- tionship and would I be will- ing to receive the same kind of help from this person? Am I offering help in humility or judgement/pity/conde- scension? Am I making this about me or do I have the best inter- ests of the other person at heart? Am I expecting something in return, or is this an uncondi- tional gift? Page 28 Module 2 With Others UNDERSTAND, CONFIRM, CONNECT Lesson General Skill Positive Communication Today I will learn to: 10 Focus my attention on what other people want to tell me Specific Skill Active Listening and show I care. Read the following strategies to help you listen actively. Confirm ¿What can you do to show someone you understood what they wanted to tell you? • Understand Nod when you feel sure that you have understood. • Summarize or paraphrase what the other person said using your own words to confirm you are understanding ¿How can you make sure you understand correctly. This will help you verify that you got it right. what the other person is telling you? • Pay attention to what the other person is saying, silence your inner voice so it doesn’t distract you, and ignore whatever else is going on around you. • • Maintain eye contact and pay attention to body language. Wait your turn to speak. Do not interrupt! Connect • If you don’t understand what’s being said, ask questions ¿What can you do respectfully to clarify. Make sure your questions make to bond with the other person the other person feel you care and not that you are during the conversation? questioning or judging his/her. • Ask the other person how he/she feels or what his/her thoughts are about it • Ask respectfully what you can do to help. • Offer a warm gesture of support. Think of three situations in your real life that are not easy to explain or share: A situation when you felt treated unfairly: An argument you recently had with someone: An important memory from your childhood: Page 29 Page 30 Module 2 With Others Little no, BIG NO Lesson General Skill Positive Communication 11 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Assertiveness Refuse doing something I don’t want without offending or hurting others. Saying “NO” When you are in a situation that is causing you problems or you feel pressured to do something An answer with a “little no” is that may have negative consequences, you always not firm, and makes you look have the option of responding ASSERTIVELY. Being hesitant and insecure. ASSERTIVE means: Being firm (your voice and your attitude 1. An answer with a “BIG NO” demonstrate security or insecurity) is firm. You say what you think, Not offending or hurting anyone (shouting, 2. feel, and want without hurting insulting) or offending anyone. This is 3. Saying what you think, feel, and/or what you an ASSERTIVE response. want others to do or stop doing Example Situation: A Day Off Since he was little, Julio had always known that he wanted to be a doctor. He studied hard at school and got good grades. In high school, he started to hang out with some kids who he thought were cool. The problem was that they weren’t very interested in school and they always wanted Julio to skip class or do something besides studying. Julio has a science test this Friday, but his friends are planning a three-day trip. They want Julio to skip school on Friday so they can leave early. “Don’t be a party pooper,” they said to him. “Let’s go have some fun!” An answer with a “BIG NO” is: An answer with a “little no” is: I’d like to hang out with you guys, but I don’t know… I don’t think so… I’m not going to miss my test. Page 31 Module 2 With Others | Assertiveness Lesson 11 For each of the following situations, write an answer with a “little no” and one with a “BIG NO.” Situation 1: Favors for Friends Although he was only fifteen years old, Gonzalo had already gotten into trouble several times. Two years ago, he started to hang around with friends who would always ask him to keep or steal things for them. One of them is asking Gonzalo to hide a gun in his house. An answer with a “little no” is: _____________________________________________________________________ An answer with a “BIG NO” is: _____________________________________________________________________ Situation 2: The Party Gloria and Valeria have been very close friends since primary school and they do everything together. When they started high school, Gloria began to make new friends who partied a lot. One afternoon, Gloria told Valeria that she had been invited to a big party and she wanted Valeria to come along. Valeria agreed to go, but she told Gloria she didn’t want to drink or do drugs. Gloria agreed, but then, at the party, in front of her new friends, Gloria asked Valeria to take a shot with her. Valeria really didn’t want to do it. An answer with a “little no” is: _____________________________________________________________________ An answer with a “BIG NO” is: _____________________________________________________________________ Page 32 Module 2 With Others | Assertiveness Lesson 11 Situation 3: Your Turn Briefly describe a situation in which you experienced peer pressure. Then think of an answer with a “little no” and one with a “BIG NO” that you could have used to respond. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ no An answer with a “little no” might be: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ NO An answer with a “BIG NO” might be: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ Page 33 Page 34 Module 2 With Others FIVE STEPS FOR MAKING UP Lesson General Skill Positive Communication Today I will learn to: 12 Define the problem, how I feel, Specific Skill Conflict Management what I did wrong and how to amend it. Five Steps for Making Up There are different ways to manage a conflict. A constructive way of doing it is to have an honest conversation. Because sometimes it’s not easy to talk calmly with someone we are angry with, it can be helpful to plan what we want to say. That way, we will be less likely to get carried away and say things we later regret. It is important to talk in private, when both parties are calm, rather than in a noisy place or when you are surrounded by friends. You can follow these steps in the conversation: 1. What happened? Listen to your friend’s version, and then explain your own. Listen to one another. Use your active listening skills: understand, confirm, and connect. 2. How do we feel? You can say, “I feel…,” or, “I felt…” and name the feelings that best describe your emotional state or what you felt when the conflict occurred. Then ask your friend how he feels and give him a chance to explain. Remember to express your feelings without offending or blaming the other person. Use “I” statements: instead of saying “you insulted me” say “I felt insulted”. 3. Do we need to apologize? Don’t forget to say “I’m sorry” if you have hurt your friend’s feelings. 4. How can we solve this? Work together, thinking and talking about how you could solve the problem. Try to reach a win-win agreement. 5. How can we act from now on? Focus on the changes you both need to make and think about how to put them into practice. Both of you should remain flexible so that your relationship may be strengthened. Think of a conflict that you have had with your parents, teachers, friends, etc., and plan a conversation with that person. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Page 35 Module 2 With Others | Conflict Management Lesson 12 Liliana and Francisco Were Supposed to Go to the Movies 10 Instructions for Francisco You and Liliana have been dating for a while. For the first couple of months, the relationship was great. You had a good time together, walking around, going out with friends, and going to the movies all the time. But ever since she started volunteering at the community center, you don’t spend as much time together. You are fed up with the whole situation. You feel like you’re not important to her anymore. You made plans with her to go to the movies today. Everything was all set. You even saved enough money to go out dancing afterwards. But Liliana never showed up. You called her house a couple of times and no one picked up. She didn’t answer her cell phone either. You can’t get ahold of Liliana. It’s 10 p.m. now. You know your plans are ruined and you’re furious. She must have forgotten. You call her cell phone one last time and Liliana answers… Instructions for Liliana You and Francisco have been dating for a while. For the first couple of months, the relationship was great. You had a good time together, walking around, going out with friends, and going to the movies all the time. But ever since you started volunteering at the community center, he has gotten very distant. All he wants to do is keep having fun and he doesn’t understand that you feel very committed to making a difference in your neighborhood. You feel like he doesn’t value what you do and you are fed up with the whole situation. You made plans with him to go to the movies today. You knew it would be a good day for you because you had been organizing a big activity at the community center for this afternoon and you thought afterwards you could relax by going out with Francisco. After the activity was over, you went home to take a nap so you would have more energy that evening. But since you were so tired, you fell deep asleep. It’s 10 o’clock now and the sound of your cell phone wakes you up. You answer and you hear Francisco’s voice… Step One: What happened? Each of you give your own version. Step Two: How do we feel? How does each of you feel? Step Three: Do we need to apologize? Step Four: How can we solve this? What agreements can we reach? Step Five: How can we act from now on? Case created by Enrique Chaux. Universidad de los Andes. Colombia. 10. Page 36 Module 3 With Our Challenges MY GROWTH INNER VOICE Lesson General Skill Determination 13 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Achievement Motivation Use my growth mindset to nourish my motivation. Two Mindsets11 11. Graphic designed by Holmes, N. (n.d.). Two mindsets: Carol Dweck. Diagrams. Page 37 Modulo 3 With Our Challenges | Achievement Motivation Lesson 13 Growth Inner Voice Write down the goal that you want to achieve, the one you identified at the start of class: _____________________________________________________________________ How would your growth mindset Your fixed mindset says: respond? If you don’t reach your objective you will be a failure. You won’t overcome all the obstacles and this will prove you are not good enough. You’re better off like you are. Effort is for suckers? What if people criticize you? You will make a fool of yourself. The people who have succeeded at this are better than you. Will you give up on your objective? Or will you use your growth mindset to succeed? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Page 38 Module 3 With Our Challenges LET’S FINISH HIGH SCHOOL! Lesson General Skill Determination 14 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Perseverance Prepare for the challenges I will face to finish high school. 1. Write down three to six challenges that you will have to face in order to graduate from high school. 2. Indicate the level of effort that you will have to make for each one of these challenges. 3. Select the challenges that will require greater effort and write down some ideas on how to overcome them. Strategies to Challenge Level of Effort Overcome It A Lot Average A Little A Lot Average A Little A Lot Average A Little A Lot Average A Little A Lot Average A Little A Lot Average A Little Page 39 Ideas for Persevering When you face academic challenges: • Don’t give up at the first sign of difficulty. Make a plan to face it. • Ask for help from teachers, friends or family when you don’t understand something. • Trust yourself. Good things don’t come easy. • Do practice exercises or answer questions on the subject that you find difficult. • Research the subject on trustworthy internet sites or in the course material. • Don’t skip class. If you can’t avoid it, make sure to catch up quickly. To stay motivated: • Talk to an adult you trust about feeling discouraged. • Take a break. Rest, play sports or dance, and then go back to work. • Think about why you want to finish high school, what you’ll be able to do. • Break down difficult tasks into smaller ones so you can tackle them one by one. • When you feel motivated, get to work and enjoy it. Page 40 Module 3 With Our Challenges SMALL AND BIG STRESSORS Lesson General Skill Determination 15 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Stress Management Deal with the big and small stressors in my life. What Stressors Do I Have in My Life? The majority of stressors may be classified into small stressors and big stressors. Think about the small stressors and big stressors you have had in your life over the past year. With my friends: One small stressor I had or have is… _____________________________________________________________________ One big stressor I had or have is… _____________________________________________________________________ With my family: One small stressor I had or have is… _____________________________________________________________________ One big stressor I had or have is… _____________________________________________________________________ At school: One small stressor I had or have is… _____________________________________________________________________ One big stressor I had or have is… _____________________________________________________________________ Page 41 Module 3 With Our Challenges | Stress Management Lesson 15 Example Stress Management Strategies Some strategies for managing small stressors include: Taking deep breaths Listening to music Thinking positively Taking a break and getting away from the situation Everything’s going to be okay. This will pass. I can calm down. Page 42 Module 3 With Our Challenges | Stress Management Lesson 15 Some strategies for managing big stressors include: Talking to a friend, family Practicing meditation member, or other important each day person in your life Keeping a journal to Working out or playing sports note down your stressful regularly thoughts and feelings D IA R IO O P R IV A D Page 43 Module 3 With Our Challenges | Stress Management Lesson 15 My Strategies for Each Type of Stressor Look at the worksheet “What Stressors Do I Have in My Life?” and pick two or more big and small stressors. Write down the strategies that might help you reduce the stress caused by these stressors. To do this, pick one of the strategies offered in the previous worksheet or any new strategies that you can think of. Write them in the chart below, based on the area in which each stressor may occur (with your friends, family, or at school), and whether it is big or small. Stress Strategies For small stressors... For big stressors… With my friends For small stressors... For big stressors… With my family For small stressors... For big stressors… At school Page 44 Module 3 With Our Challenges THREE REASONS WHY Lesson General Skill Responsible Decision-making 16 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Creative Thinking Generate ideas that are different from each other. Three Reasons Why14 Think of three possible reasons to explain the following situations: Example: • The assignment was a group project and one of her classmates turned it in. Susie did her homework but she did not • The homework isn’t due until turn it in. later. • It was for piano practice and she didn’t have to turn it in, she had to play it. Amber rides her bike home from school • _______________________________ every day, but yesterday she walked • _______________________________ home. • _______________________________ Tom loves chocolate cake. His mother • _______________________________ served chocolate cake for dessert, but • _______________________________ Tom did not eat it. • _______________________________ Rover, the dog, always comes when he • _______________________________ is called, but yesterday he did not come • _______________________________ when his owner called. • _______________________________ • _______________________________ Kate broke her pencil point but she did • _______________________________ not use the pencil sharpener. • _______________________________ • _______________________________ James bought a new jacket but he never • _______________________________ wore it. • _______________________________ 14. Lynette, R. (n.d.). Creative Thinking: Flexibility. Retrieved in September 2015 from http://www.minds-in- bloom.com/2009/10/creative-thinking-flexibility.html Page 45 Page 46 Module 3 With Our Challenges WHAT’S IN A LABEL Lesson General Skill Responsible Decision-making 17 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Critical Thinking Recognize how my own biases and prejudices affect others. Okay or Not Okay23 Instructions: Read the following statements and rate from 1 to 4 in the scale below, how “okay” you think you would feel about each situation (how comfortable you think you would be). There are no right or wrong answers. Simply be honest with yourself and do not over-think the situations. However, the way you answer the questions may be different depending on your own social group membership, such as your race/ethnicity, gender, age, weight, or ability status. In some cases, you may not think a situation is personally applicable; if so, imagine how you would feel if it was applicable. After you have completed all sections, follow the instructions to create a total score for each section. 1 2 3 4 OK! Awesome! Okay, cool. Meh, not really okay. Not at all okay! Section A: Your best friend starts dating an African-American. You go into a Japanese restaurant where all the patrons and employees are Asian. You realize you are the only person of your race when you visit a community. A Saudi Arabian sits down next to you on a crowded bus. Your new doctor went to medical school in India. Total: ____________ Section B: You find out a family friend is choosing to be a stay-at-home dad. You greet someone but can’t determine the person’s gender. You take your car in for repairs and the head mechanic is a woman. You see a little boy playing with a princess Barbie. You see a businessman getting a manicure. Total: ____________ 23. Adapted from Goldstein, S. B. (1997). The power of stereotypes: A labeling exercise. Teaching of Psychology, 24, 256-258. Page 47 Module 3 With Our Challenges | Critical Thinking Lesson 17 Section C: You see two men holding hands. A person of your same sex is flirting with you. You move in next door to a same sex couple who have two children. You go on a date with someone who used to date someone of the same sex. You see two females kiss lovingly in public. Total: ____________ Section D: You don’t know whether to open a door for someone in a wheelchair. You watch someone who does not have a visible disability park in a handicap spot. You walk by a mentally disabled person who is talking loudly in the street. Your friend is dating someone with mild autism. You are standing in line behind a deaf person at a fast food restaurant. Total: ____________ Results: Compute your total for each section by adding up the numbers from your responses. Higher numbers indicate greater discomfort with social situations in that section Section A: Race Section B: Gender Section C: Sexuality Section D: Disability Page 48 Module 3 With Our Challengess | Critical Thinking Lesson 17 Reflection questions 1. On which section did you score the lowest? Highest? Or are all your scores similar? Why do you think that happened? Do you feel surprised, disappointed, or satisfied by your results? Why? 2. Think about your own social group memberships. How do you think the answers for each section would be different for dominant group members (e.g., a White person answering the questions in Section A or a heterosexual answering the questions in Section C) compared to minority group members (e.g., a disabled person answering the questions in Section D)? 3. Think about your friends and family and how they might have completed the questionnaire. Do you think their responses would be similar to or different from yours? Why? 4. What experiences have you had that may have contributed to the way you answered the questions? 5. What does it mean if someone reports feeling uncomfortable or not okay in the situations described on the questionnaire? Does it suggest that the person is biased against certain social groups? Why or why not? Page 49 Page 50 Module 3 With Our Challenges MAKING UP FOR IT Lesson General Skill Responsible Decision-making 18 Today I will learn to: Specific Skill Responsibility Own up to my mistakes and make up for them. On Loreta’s Cell Phone - Unknown Number - Loreta receives anonymous messages on her cell phone every single day. - Unknown Number - - Unknown Number - Loreta, I’m watching you through the window... [ Received at 1:29pm ] That blue shirt makes Loreta, you I’m look watching so fatyou … through [ the window... Received at 1:30pm ] [ Received at 1:29pm ] - Unknown Number - Loretaaaaaaaa! - Unknown Number - [ Received at 11:01am ] - Unknown Number - Loretaaaaaaaa! [ Received at 11:01am ] In your dreams!!!! [ Received at 11:03am ] You have a new hairstyle today… [ Received at 11:02am ] You have a new hairstyle today… Did you change it for me? [ Received at 11:02am ] ?????? - Unknown Number - [ Received at 11:03am ] In your dreams!!!! [ Received at 11:03am ] Did you change it for me? ?????? Messages like these constantly appear on Loreta’s cell phone. Loreta hasn’t told [ Received at 11:03am ] anyone, but she feels frustrated and hopeless. She doesn’t want to go back to school. What Loreta doesn’t know is that these messages are being written by Polo, one of her classmates who thinks it’s fun to see Loreta’s face every time she reads her messages on her cell phone. Manuel and Lili are Polo’s friends, and they have watched Polo write these messages to Loreta. Manuel laughs because he thinks it’s funny, too. Lili just watches Polo and doesn’t say anything. Page 51 Module 3 With Our Challengess | Responsibility Lesson 18 Our Responsibility Scale I Imagine that you’re Polo. What is your level of responsibility for the things that Loreta is thinking and feeling? 4 A lot of responsibility 3 A good deal of responsibility 2 Little responsibility 1 Very little responsibility 0 No responsibility If you were Polo, how could you make up for the damage you’ve done to Loreta or help improve her situation? Write down several options, each one on a bandage. Finally, choose ONE of these options and cut it out so you can stick it on the board. Page 52 Module 3 With Our Challengess | Responsibility Lesson 18 Our Responsibility Scale II Imagine that you’re Manuel. What is your Imagine that you’re Lili. What is your level of responsibility for the things that level of responsibility for the things that Loreta is thinking and feeling? Loreta is thinking and feeling? 4 A lot of responsibility 4 A lot of responsibility 3 A good deal of responsibility 3 A good deal of responsibility 2 Little responsibility 2 Little responsibility 1 Very little responsibility 1 Very little responsibility 0 No responsibility 0 No responsibility If you were Manuel and Lili, how could you make up for the damage you’ve done to Loreta or help improve her situation? Write down several options (each one on a bandage). Finally, choose ONE of these options and cut it out so you can stick it on the board. Page 53 Page 54